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Movie Night Review: Surrogates (2009)

Posted on | October 11, 2009 | 2 Comments

Surrogates (2009)

Title: Surrogates

Year: 2009

Director: Jonathan Mostow

Starring: Bruce Willis, Radha Mitchell, Rosamund Pike, Boris Kodjoe, James Cromwell, and Ving Rhames.

Length: 88 Minutes

Seen with: AMC Theaters (Lincoln Center, NYC)

Rating: [2.5 out of 5]

[2.5/5.0 Stars]

What an awful movie. On every level conceivable it was terrible. I was completely and utterly let down…YET AGAIN by Hollywood. It’s like there is this sickness in Hollywood, where people think that if it sounds great and looks great…it will be great. NOPE. Jonathan Mostow took a half decent idea and destroyed it. I’m not even going to waste your time with a synopsis of the film. That is how pathetic it was. Even the “sincerest” parts of the film were laughable. This film would have been better as a rotoscope style (think “A Scanner Darkly”). Most important lacking from the film was the EFFING story!!!

Ladies and gentlemen…I don’t claim to be an incredible snob of a movie critic. I did attend the New York Film Academy way back in 1997. I do photography and I know about script writing, etc… This my friends is known in Hollywood as a cluster FUCK. Somehow some way, executive producers get drawn into putting up the money for such shitty movies. I wonder how the director does it. Must have hookers come up to their apartments and do whatever to them to get that money. It’s a complete shame that all of this money was wasted on a crappy film that could have helped some starving children somewhere in America or abroad, or help an invalid get one step towards independence for the first time in 20 years. There a million and 1 horror stories out there that need fixing.

If you have any decency for yourselves and starving children out there in the world and you were thinking of seeing this film? Take that money you were going to use to see the film and donate it to a shelter or a reputable charity. Trust me…you’ll get a better feeling afterwards than seeing this pile of garbage.

Awful, awful, awful.

The only reason I gave it 2.5 out of 5.0 stars is that the special effects were very cool…but I’m not in a theater to see special effects. I’m there to be moved. Whether to be moved to laugh, be scared, cry, or think differently. I was numb throughout the film. Nothing made me think. Nothing made me cry. Nothing made associate myself with ANY of the characters.

Thank G-d I didn’t have to PAY to see this film. That was the one saving grace.

Watch the trailer below and decide for yourself.

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Comments

2 Responses to “Movie Night Review: Surrogates (2009)”

  1. Rick Boyer
    October 11th, 2009 @ 7:00 PM

    I just stopped by your blog and thought I would say hello. I like your site design. Looking forward to reading more down the road.

  2. Noodles McIntosh
    October 11th, 2009 @ 9:53 PM

    Rick,

    Thanks for stopping by! I left you a comment on one of your blog entries. :D Come back at least once a day. I usually update something once a day. :D

    Keep blogging!

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