A Tall Drink of Noodles

How Am I Not Myself?

Talk about being completely out of it…

Posted on | November 3, 2009 | 2 Comments

IMG_4435 I don’t even know where to begin. I have been so…I don’t even know the right word to use, but beyond out of it. I’m not in a funk. I’m not depressed. I have been working my ass off…that’s for sure! It just seems as if no matter how effing hard I try, no matter how much effort I put into something…there always seems to be something I am missing. When I use the word missing…don’t get it confused with longing or wanting kind of missing. The missing I speak of is the absence or void of some order. My life has absolutely no order to it and it’s frustrating. I honestly do plan to a certain degree for that particular day, but something always arises that trumps whatever it was that I had planned. I could have 30 planned phone calls on a particular day and a my boss will call and say I have to change what I am focusing on to something else. I have no problem with this at all. It’s just that when I shift gears I get discombobulated and lose track of time/space/universe everything goes up in the air in terms of priorities.

People have been telling me to go to bed earlier…BAAHUMBUG to that! I say! I’m a night guy. I can’t go to bed early.

How does one organize an entire day of research, phone calling, staying in touch with friends, having alone time with the Mrs., etc. Seriously, how the FUCK do people do it? I just can’t fathom it. So many of my friends have stopped calling me because they know I never call them back. It’s not that I don’t WANT to, it’s because I forget to call them back. If I take the time to call them back…I’ll forget what I was going to do at that moment. Forget picking calls up. I never answer my phone anymore. It’s insane! I get distracted so easily that I will literally forget WTF I was just doing. I could NEVER be a waiter or work in retail.

I’ve always been told focus on your positives and be aware of your negatives. Well my positives are beyond the sky’s limits and my hinderances are well…what I am venting about.

There has to be a way for me to focus and stay on point.

People have told me make lists…but what the fuck good are lists if you have a desk full of lists from days before that never got fulfilled to begin with? I mean I take notes after notes after notes. I even make notes to remind me of other notes that remind me of meetings or call I have to make and STILL I don’t get everything done. Not even close to it.

I’m not expecting to complete everything that I set forth for any particular day, but can you imagine getting bombarded with calls, emails, twitter, facebook, blah, blah, blah…after awhile you shutdown for all the overload. I really try to keep it simple. I’m starting to use our new CRM system…but the only thing is I now need time to import all of my business cards that I have acquired over time and then create a schedule to call and email these people and do this and do that.

All of this takes time! Time I don’t have NOW. When will I have time to do all of this?

Seriously, there HAS to be an easier way. Has to be!

I mean I could hire an assistant, but with what money am I going to pay him or her? It all falls back on me. I could spend 1 hour in the AM inputting data and then eat breakfast, etc… Not going to work. I already spend an hour in the AM filtering through the 10,000 tweets in my Outlook box from the night before…searching for information amid a sea of SPAM. Always looking for the new thing and a new client.

How the FUCK can I possibly get any of this stuff done? Saturdays + Sundays are OFF LIMITS. My wife screams at me when I am on the computer on the weekends and for good reason! I’m on the computer all the time and ironically I never spend it on either her or myself.

Now that is IRONY. I have the World at my fingertips and I am doing WORK all day and night long. I’m hustling like crazy to get some movement going with my job and stuff. I never have any time to write like I used to, which saddens me a bit.

There has to be a way to balance personal life with work life.

The CRM is going to help, but after that I am going to need a freakin’ life coach or something. lol

Maybe I need to shorten my conversations. Maybe I need to read more intently. Maybe I need a freakin’ hearing aid. Maybe I’m taking on more than I can chew. Maybe I’m the World’s worst organizer. Maybe I can complain some more and then everything will fit into a dysfunctional dystopia. Maybe not.

How do CEOs and bigwigs do it? Yeah, I know they have secretaries that tell them to do everything. I don’t have that luxury.

Logic would dictate create a schedule and try to live as close to that as possible. ERRRRRRRRRRRR…not going to happen. What usually happens is that I will think about making a schedule and not know what the fuck to put into that schedule. lol Talk about a catch 22. Or, I’ll begin to make this schedule and I’ll get a call of which I do not answer. Then get another call and another. All from different people…while I’m trying to focus on myself for just a freakin’ moment to catch my breathe and organize. The next thing I look up at the clock and it’s 7:00PM. WTF!?!?!?!

I’m besides myself. I really am. I really don’t know how much more candid I can be without jumpng through the screen and smacking you in the face with complaint after complaint. It’s a miracle you made it this far in my rant. lol.

I need to be better at a lot of things in life…don’t we all? I know I am not alone. I know there are people out there looking at themselves in the mirror and shake their heads and say…how the eff am I going to do this? They do it somehow. If anyone has any tips or pointers, please feel free to reply to this post or email me.

Please don’t tell me to write stuff down…MORE. (Trust me I write PLENTY down.) Please don’t tell me to HIRE someone. (I don’t have any money.) Please don’t SUGGEST that I work Saturday + Sunday. (NOT GOING TO HAPPEN PEOPLE.)

I need real advice and REAL perspective. If this blog isn’t a cry for help I don’t know what is…

Talk about being completely out of it…

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Comments

2 Responses to “Talk about being completely out of it…”

  1. Jaclyn
    November 3rd, 2009 @ 4:09 PM

    This is my life!

    So when you find the answers please post for the rest of us who also can’t figure out how to do all of the things that need to be done, while actually having a life and friends and sleep.

    -Jaclyn

  2. Noodles McIntosh
    November 3rd, 2009 @ 6:46 PM

    It’s insane, but you know what? As soon I find out the solution I will write a freaking book and post it for free on the web. If someone asked me right now how I would describe myself as an animal I would say, “like a chicken without a head”. That is what it’s like for me. Oy vey! heh.

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